Monday, May 05, 2008

heart and sunny days

Yikes! I missed my blogiversary on Friday. Proof again that I'm letting things slip. I haven't got a photo either. What do I have...hmmm... (shuffling of brain cells)...stuff...stuff that I, by my own rules cannot mention on this blog. That's the thing with having a rule about keeping it positive, sometimes that is just plain difficult to do and boring. I could photograph the garden every week to show progression, that would be a bit on the dull side too. Growing is a slow process.

So perhaps I'll let things slip and tell you what is on my mind. It may do me some good.

I found out about two weeks ago that my Mom (aged 59) is having heart problems and has done since last September (she didn't want to add to my worries). Now, I don't know what anyone else does, but I immediately began to take a comparative inventory of my health misdemeanors and hers.
every cigarette, every gluttonous moment, every drink
and tried to negate it with
every walk, every bowl of porridge, every sober moment (glad I quit smoking years ago)
*am really worried for my Mother
*going to try to get some blood tests to check cholesterol
*had to have the 'what's the plan going to be?' conversation with the hubby that anyone that lives away from their parents dreads having
*and all the other thoughts that goes with this sort of thing.

But, you know, I am o.k. As I tell the kids at school when they get upset about something that is happening to someone they know. Get the right perspective, I'm not suffering, my Mom is. I would be doing her a disservice by wearing her troubles as if they were my own. I love my Mom. I am worried about my Mom. I am cross at her because she didn't take care of herself properly. And I will do what I can to help and support, but because of where I am and where she is (physically and mentally) that's not a lot. And that's o.k. too.

still feel the need to post a photo or something.

hold on a moment...
(rummaging through iMovie...)
how bout this? just as an experiment? Summer 2002. Was going to sing on it, but not sure I and the world is ready for that.

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