cornbread and soup

Back to work... harsh.

I'm getting better at letting the kids cook. Mamma's boy is a baker and loves cornbread. Really loves cornbread. The Girl's spicy black bean soup was the bomb! As I may have stated before, if you are planning on letting the kids cook, make sure that you tack at least an extra half an hour onto the planned making or make sure it isn't crucial for the next meal.

First day back at school:

We compared homemade rough puff pastry to bought and I demonstrated a cheese and onion jalousie with the two pastries.

In the afternoon I had the pupils analyse pot noodles in groups and then I showed them how to make a much better 'own' version. They liked own version best. (thank goodness)

ghouls and shingles

Year 7's went away on camp. Except for a few. It was my turn last Wednesday to teach them. But what? I was thinking of just a bit of drawing, just let them entertain themselves while I got on with paper work. But, that morning, their temporary tutor came next door to me and asked on their behalf what they would be doing. He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and said that they were lovely. AWWW... monster bread it is then!

We had a fab time. Mine from that lesson is the top photo.

I love the idea of monster bread. So I did it again with The Girl. She came up with the gold that is the mummy bread. We made Mamma's Boy a frog as he expressed concern over the theme of monsters. Packed it for his lunch and he actually ate the whole thing. The most positive event of his day.

And the shingles? Well, got to enjoy being 41 last week, feeling on top of the world, feeling I'd cracked this ageing thing, and then I started to feel unwell in a very non specific sort of way. And I was trying to figure out just when I bruised my back. Woke up Saturday morning, took a bath to try to get the pain to go away and did a check. Still couldn't figure it out. Got out of the bath and then the realisation hit. Shingles. Oh Crap. Google. Husband does physical check, no those aren't ordinary spots. What?! NHS direct nurse. Lovely woman. Good. Yes, you have shingles. Christ.

Flashback. Remembering my Granddad's shingles. He was stoic but in lots of pain. Begin to panic.

But all shingles are not the same. Mine are mild. I went to the doctor on Monday and he gave me the week off, but that's all I'll need. And amazingly, this time (for he tells me I will get shingles again) I would have to say shingles have been a gift. I've slept, thought, and have been able to be there for my kids while they are going to and coming back from school. An honour. I've allowed myself to rest and get better. A sure sign of ageing well. Rather than running back to work, working too hard and making myself twice as ill.

end of 40

A lot has happened this year. But that is the way for everyone. I've learned a lot. I've learned to have more confidence in what I know. I've learned to stand by what I know is right. I've finally learned that old demons are just that: old and demons. Best to be either battled or ignored depending on their D & D level (bear with me). I've also learned that being family is not enough. There has to be respect and empathy.
I've been thinking a lot these last few weeks about the stories and the facts of my life. I often fantasize about being asked about what I know and what I know to be true. But as we are all aware, that just doesn't happen. People look without asking. Ineffective.

What I know is...
The best advice I was ever given. I was 19ish, at university and for various reasons feeling pretty messed up and emotional. I decided to partake in some psychotherapy. I was in there for 20 minutes and came out of it wanting to...well you get it. I went to my art teacher/ mentor. He said to me magic words. Words that I never heard from anyone else ever since. But they are logical. First he said not to go back to the therapist. Paint and talk to him. He then said that I shouldn't have goals. Too many goals and you can't see the opportunities in front of you. Epiphany.

I looked at what my goals were. And they were these: to get to university and to be like Mary Tyler Moore. Well, obviously I was at university and let's face it, even though it's cute and very midwest child of the 70's/80's, Mary Tyler Moore as a role model isn't going to get you far.

So I started to look around me. One night I saw a man across a crowded room. I turned to my friend and said, 'That is the man I'm going to marry.' I knew it was true. And it was.
With him I gained love, security, adventure, children and family, friends and friendship. All of which I'm convinced I wouldn't have had without him.

I'm going into 41 feeling solid, secure and loved.